A Husband's Love and a Wife's Submission

     Ephesians 5:22-33 is a continuation of the command to live wisely (Eph. 5:15), and to be filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18). This section begins the household codes in which Paul addresses the members of a local church, which include wives and husbands (Eph. 5:22-33), children and parents (Eph. 6:1-4), and household slaves and masters (Eph. 6:5-9).

• "Wives, be subject [ὑποτάσσω hupotasso – to submit, rank under – borrowed from vs. 21] to your own [ἴδιος idios – one’s own, distinct] husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head [κεφαλή kephale – chief, head, leader] of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. ²⁴ But as the church is subject [ὑποτάσσω hupotasso] to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." (Eph. 5:22-24)

     The word submission comes from the Greek verb ὑποτάσσω hupotasso, which was first used as a military term meaning to rank under, submit, or obey. Submission does not imply inferiority, for Jesus submitted Himself to His parents (Luke 2:51) as well as to God the Father (1 Cor. 11:3; 15:28). Biblical submission is foremost to God and then to those who do His will. Angels are to submit to God (1 Pet. 3:22), the church to Christ (Eph. 1:22), church members to elders (Heb. 13:17), Christians to government (Rom. 13:1), slaves to masters (1 Pet. 2:18), and the wife to her husband (Eph. 5:22-24). The wife reveals her love for Jesus when she submits to her husband.

• "Husbands, love [ἀγαπάω agapao – present/active/imperative – to love, cherish, commit] your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her [sacrificed Himself for her benefit], ²⁶ so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [ῥῆμα rhema – the spoken word, probably the gospel], ²⁷ that He might present to Himself [ἑαυτοῦ heautou – reflexive pronoun] the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. ²⁸ So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; ²⁹ for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of His body. ³¹ FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. ³² This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." (Eph. 5:25-33)

     The Lord Jesus Christ stands as the ideal role model for the Christian husband; specifically His sacrificial love for the church, which is salvific, and concerned with the church’s glory, purity, and holiness. Christ’s love originates from eternity past, but manifested itself at a point in time, nearly two thousand years ago, when the eternal Son of God condescended and became a man (John 1:1, 14). During His time on earth He manifested grace and truth (John 1:17), lived a holy life (John 6:69; Heb. 7:26), faced adversity with Scripture (Matt. 4:1-11), and perpetually pleased His Father (John 8:29). He came not to be served, “but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). He always spoke truth, both strong and gentle (Matt. 23:13-39; John 8:1-11), even in the face of hostility (John 8:40). He welcomed children (Matt. 19:13-14), cared for the sick (Matt. 8:14-16; 14:14), fed the hungry (Mark 6:35-44), and made the humble feel loved and welcome (Luke 7:36-50). The King of kings and Lord of lords manifested Himself as the Servant of servants when He humbled Himself and washed the feet of His disciples that they might learn humility (John 13:1-17). By the end of His earthly life He’d completed His Father’s work, saying, “I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do” (John 17:4), then He faced the cross and laid down His life for others (John 10:11, 15, 17; 1 Cor. 15:3-4). The Giver of life had given His life that the church might know His Father’s love (1 John 3:16).

     A husband, in the biblical sense, is a man who models his life after Christ. This assumes he is, first and foremost, in a relationship with the Man, the Lord Jesus Christ and has been born again into a new life (1 Pet. 1:3). As the responsible leader in his home, he is to lead with a sacrificial attitude that is concerned about his wife’s wellbeing. Just as Christ leads, feeds, and protects His church, so the husband leads his wife into God’s will, nourishes her with God’s Word, and protects her spirit, body, emotions and reputation. In order to fulfill his divinely delegated role in the marriage, he devotes himself to the study of Scripture (2 Tim. 2:15; 1 Pet. 2:2; 2 Pet. 3:18), and strives toward spiritual maturity (2 Tim. 3:16-17; Eph. 4:11-16). As a growing believer he lives by faith (Prov. 3:5-6; Heb. 10:38), is filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18), walks in the Spirit (Gal. 5:16), shows love to others (1 Thess. 4:9; 1 John 3:23), delights himself in the ways of the Lord (Ps. 1:1-3), walks humbly (Mic. 6:8), helps the needy, the widow and orphan (Prov. 14:31; Jam. 1:27), and pursues righteousness, justice and love (Ps. 132:9; Tit. 2:11-12). He does this so that his life will be transformed to become like the One who saved him (Rom. 8:29; 12:1-2). The husband makes his wife’s submissive role easy when he loves her as Christ loves the church, and he forfeits his right to lead if he abuses her or directs her to sin.